Bondi Cigar

Mar

14

One for the kiddies

Oh, and if you’re a creative evolutionist, just skip straight to top left.

If you’re a shark lover, go here and complain in the comments.

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Down Under

Travel in Asia, Pacific, Europe and the Americas reveals a affectionate admiration for the peoples and lifestyle of this great sunburnt country, this wide brown land.

Asians in particular regard us warmly, especially recalcitrant Muslim States to our north who accept our kindness and generosity with both awe and gratitude.

They view preemption nobly offered by our diminutively-revered former leader as that unique Australian blend of regional cooperation and derring-do.

Our Pacific neighbors, of whom we are proud paladins, play safely unmolested in our sunny watery back yard. The fuzzy wuzzy angels to our close north fondly consider us a rascally gang who altruistically saved their southern friends from another 40,000 years of stagnation.

To all strangers and foreign souls I extend the warm hand of welcome. And, too-long forgotten, particularly to those long-patient Territorians, and especially to our inland dwellers, those Arafura Pedestrians of Antiquity, our Native Australians.

Both our white outlanders and our indigenous tinted folk share with foreigners the misfortune of never having cherished the 'real Australia' - our sensuously skyward steely-glassed coastal cities fed by cascading combustion-powered rivers of commerce.

Girt by sea, this wide brown land black with coal, our wealth radiates around the globe to nations whose paucity of mere culture, education, and civilisation reflect back their envy .. which goes mostly over our heads, being deep within those loving excavations that pay for magical foreign-produced cargo cult goodies.

Obscenely sports obsessed being our badge of pride, a voratious public mind feasts on fast food of frenetic thronging presses of Press whose livelihoods depend upon screeching minutae of overpaid neanderthal derros with too much time on their talentless hands, unearned of such fabricated fame.

And, not least, this nation's grand sweep of creative intellectual fertility, that incubator of cultural and social promise - ethnic tribes of Sydney's great south-west, and the triple-mortgage trash of her far flung suburbs.