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Asides to the Weary Visitor   Oct 23 2012

Filed under Australiana by Jhyimy Two Hats

Ancient insistence greets weary travelers with food, conversation and warm company.

Like-minded, Australia (Oztralya) generously extends camaraderie to strangers peering curiously this way… perhaps puzzling at our enigmatic blend of lofty alacrity sans moral means. 

Our mission? To greet the foreigner with warm welcoming words, mischievous offerings of potted analysis, and cheeky advisories about this wide brown land and its truly odd people.

To explain to our alien friends the hidden and deeply sinister meaning of those disturbing reports about down-under… if, that is, one trusts the laid-back wherewithal of an imperturbable cloister of larrikin layabouts.

To provide an easily-digestible opinion of nationally significant daily events in this carnivale-caricature that is Oztralya.

To project a commonsense though ideologically-tainted view of life at the top, from lowlife at the bottom.

The nation

Though our ancestors pondered the universe of stars, we locals gaze slightly lower than the heavens to seek understanding of merely the world – in particular, this parochial, flat, greedy little part of it called Australia.

Dear intending visitor/immigrant, do not confuse this brochure-governed farce for a civilized nation! Ignorance is awash in this great southern land, democracy a pale shadow of its constitution, citizens infuriatingly heedless and complacent – ugly if disturbed – and the government arrogant and spiteful.

Former convict colony cum commercial cornucopia, Oztralya now resembles a collective of pillaging frontier townships so bereft of perspective it now back-trades hard-won twentieth-century grandeur for trinkets of manufacture. It dumbly barters assets and infrastructure as a small child might hock his dead mother’s diamond ring for an iPhone.

In such intellectual wastelands, relief for the reflective lives only in derision-gilded parody.

People and their Opinions

Freely and sadly admitted, Oztralya is characterized by deficiencies in both diligence and smarts – but that is our style and we must make do.

We comprise opinions and rants with seeping generalizations of little fact – and far less detail – but our perspective is without peer!

It’s our ranting lot in life to extrapolate, to purvey the probable, indulge "what-if’s" based on consensus retrospective collation.

And who would know the full facts of any given issue? Who could? Even those intimately involved in historic kerfuffles never knew the full extent of machinations, manoeuvrings and collusions that passed within a whisker (or whisper) of their collar.

No-one knows the truth, perhaps not even God – who would surely smite us, were he to. No amount of research, analysis, or historical proof-reading, can explain the affairs of mankind, anymore than technical analysis explains the stock market.

Ultimately you take it all at face value, sum the vectors, read the tea leaves, spin the bone and point the finger.

Which is how, you dear Traveller, you will reveal us, if you dare.






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